How is it that I used to be busier as a chef in Paris than I am now, yet I always managed to post blogs everyday? In fact, I even had a backlog of posts ready to be up and running and now I struggle with writing even one. In the beginning when my life changed I was still in Paris and it was an amazing feeling that inspired me all day long. Then other people who didn't approve of it kind of broke or stole my mojo and ever since I haven't been able to be consistent or even write like before. When this happened I had already decided to move to Holland where I fell into a rather substantial depression from loneliness and I still couldn't write even though I was so in love and inspired by cooking all the time, which was and still is my "perfect recipe for writing". It just hasn't ever been like it once was. So why? And can I fix it like you fix any bad recipe?
I used to see food and while simultaneously being in love, I rather simply found a link or something inspiring within the both of them, then I would write about it (or vise versa). Now I cannot seem to "bridge that gap" anymore. It feels forced when I do. But then the other day when teaching my first official cooking class at Landje van De Boer I realized that I may be teaching new things to people in these classes but ironically I am learning all over again from scratch just like some of my "students" how to do something so simple. Cook easy, stress-free meals. That was my problem, my meals.....better yet, my life wasn't stress-free so I was blinded by it and unable to see the links I once saw everywhere. I can see them peeking at me around corners and it's beginning to feel normal again and when I look back and see it's only been 6 months, I feel more at ease knowing this is all normal when you move to a country where you have no friends, family, work, don't speak the language, had the stress I had from the choice I made and the list goes on.
SO........I am taking this moment to be proud of myself for achieving something in the amount of time I had and now I write to you from Holland with friends, family, work, speaking beginning level Dutch from an awesome 3 1/2 year old teacher, and though the stress from my choice will never go away, it can be covered up by a happy house filled with great food, laughter, music, friends and most of all love.
*Recipes to come......here's a photo preview